PEACE

the weekend of Sept. 9th, i took time to take care of myself, and i traveled away from my babies for the first time in 4 years, to attend the celebration of Life for my Uncle Kyle with my Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and close friends of his. i am grateful to have such a wonderful husband who stayed at home in alaska with the kids for 3 1/2 days and he is extremely supportive of me. I kept calling him Super Daddy for the weekend! lol!! I had to take care of myself for once, and i am so glad i did.

His celebration of life was September 10th, exactly 2 months since god ended his suffering. it was the first time in 2 months for me, that I felt a sense of PEACE. It all became real to me that he was gone. seeing my nana(his mother), my aunty's (his sisters) comforted me, and my cousins well, they're NUTS but I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! and I am sure Uncle Kyle was so happy to see us all together giving him all the attention! lol! i also saw the box his ashes was in and it was a strange feeling for me, but a good one...its hard to explain. He wanted his ashes to be scattered in the ocean in hawaii. so next November on his birthday is when we will be doing that for him. I MISS HIM!!

There is literally not a day goes by that I think of him! He's always in my mind, and i when i take aliana to dance class, i ask him to help her dance amazing! and help her be graceful like he was. of course there are times that make me miss him a lot more, for instance aliana like to play with her my little pony's hair, and her barbies, and it brings back memories of me and my uncle kyle playing with my little ponies hair and he would do something really cool with their hair.

When it was the twins birthday and Aliana's birthday this past couple weeks, it was weird not getting a phone call, or a facebook post from him wishing them a happy birthday...my birthday is next week, and its going to be a tough birthday for me, because he ALWAYS called no matter what he was doing....hopefully he comes to me in spirit on my birthday or even in my dreams to wish me a happy birthday. hahaha

i like the feeling of peace. its calming, uplifting, and of course just PEACEFUL <3

Oh and I got the best news ever last saturday! My brother in law and his wifey are having their first BABY!!!! I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNTY!!!!!!!!! MATT IS GOING TO BE AN UNCLE!!!!!! and the kiddos are going to have a COUSIN!!! I AM SUPER EXCITED!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST FUN FAVORITE AUNTY (i am the only aunty) lol!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!