In Memory of My Uncle Kyle Barretto

i know i mentioned in my last blog that my uncle kyle was getting better everyday. well it took a turn for the worst in july. July 10, 2011 at 8:30pm my uncle kyle barretto became an angel in heaven. Jesus didn't want him to suffer from the burkitt's lymphoma (a rare type of lymphoma, a blood cancer). He was surrounded with his mother, and his sister (my aunty terri) and other family members in the hospital room. He was strong, and he never gave up, but unfortunately the cancer was too aggressive for him. He made peace with himself going to heaven. which makes me happy knowing he was at peace, and he doesn't have to suffer through the physical pain of needles, chemo effects, lab tests, etc. when i got the word that he had passed, of course i broke down, i was an emotional wreck for a week, my hubby is amazing, always comforting me during one of my "moments." it just didn't seem real to me, we just saw him in good physical health in february, beginning of march. and he was diagnosed end of march! and 4 months later, he's gone. i had to explain to Aliana what happened to uncle kyle, because she remembers him, and that was really hard for me. how do you explain to a 3 year old about heaven?....then when my sister was painting her nails, aliana said, "aunty nalani, can you paint my nails like uncle kyle did in hawaii?!" my sister about lost it hahahaha.....sometimes i think fate, destiny, whatever you wanna call it, brought me and my family to hawaii to see him in good health before all this happened. he got to meet my babies, and spend time with him! what also is hard for me, is when we were saying bye in hawaii, he asked what we were doing for christmas? and i said, we were thinking of going to california, and he said he was going to do the same thing, and the next time we would see eachother (in person) would be christmas in california.... :'( of course him being diagnosed with cancer was beyond our plans!....basically this christmas is going to be hard.........i miss him soooo much! he was always on facebook, and now its not the same without his funny comments, his videos, his pictures!, everything!

Him passing so quickly, made me realize, anything can happen at any given time. it also, motivated matt and i to make a last will, and living will, (yes there's a difference) and we still need to work on some final details. we have to protect our babies.

there are so many many memories with me and my uncle kyle. there a few that stick out:

memory #1: when he came to visit us in okinawa, japan, it was around Halloween time, and i think i was about 7 or 8 years old, and he made a showgirl costume for me! lol! it was awesome! i had these big pink boa feathers attached to my pink tiara and the butt part of my black multi color glitter leotard LOL! out of all the little girls trick or treating, i was the only "unique" one! lol!! i also had a lot of make-up on! hahahahaha

memory#2: when we moved to hawaii, i was about 10-11 years old, and he convinced my mom really hard to dye my hair! he dyed my hair a nice reddish color, and even though he tried his hardest to teach me how to style my hair, i never gave my best effort, i was too lazy, he knew i was, but always tried to teach me new tricks to style it lol!

memory#3: he walked my mother (his sister) down the aisle to marry the best step-father a girl could ask for! that made my mom so happy, and me too of course! during that wedding week, he also taught me how to properly wear my make-up and not look like a hooker lol! thank you uncle kyle!

memory#4: he made me a beautiful bride! he did my hair and make-up! and he placed my veil. he made me look and feel beautiful for my wedding day! and that is the one memory i will ALWAYS cherish! he played a tremendous part!

memory#5: he called me right away when Aliana was born, and congratulated me and matt, and he said he couldn't wait to put her in a showgirl halloween costume! hahahaha, now i will do it for him....he will just laugh in heaven lol!

memory#6: he met my babies this past year, and my babies adored him! Aliana was always excited to see him! and especially having him paint her nails, which he admitted it wasn't the best talent he had lol! we had so much fun hanging out at the beach, walking down waikiki, enjoying a cheesecake from the cheesecake factory together, talking story, also enjoying his Lychee Martini hahaha, he cut and styled my hair, and he gave me the inspiration to get purple highlights in my hair, cause he had purple highlights, and i loved it! and i am not getting rid of them until my hair grows out.

there's many more memories, but these stuck out for me....and every night i always pray to him, and ask him to meet in my dreams. not sure if its happened yet because i can never remember my dreams when i wake up lol. but i do know he is with us when i ask for him!

This weekend the 10th will mark 2 months since his passing, and family relatives and close friends are having a Celebration of Life for him in california. I am going down there friday, just me, myself and I. hubby has work, (doesn't make sense to pay for 5 plane tickets for a weekend) and i need to go for my own sanity. plus its great excuse to clear my head, and get a weekend getaway from "mommyhood" i LOVE my babies, its just mommy can go crazy every now and then lol! i think uncle kyle would appreciate me catching a break lol!

my final thoughts: My uncle Kyle was a true inspiration to me. he taught me the value of life, and that every individual is unique, and always have fun everyday!, life is too short to have negativity in it. May you rest in peace Uncle Kyle, and always watch over me and my ohana. the journey that we shared will now have to leave, but will live inside of us for eternity <3 I LOVE YOU!!