It is the end of September, which means its the end of our short fall weather here in Alaska. October is when it abruptly drops to 20 degrees at night, and into the 40's during the day....brrrr. not my kind of "happy" weather. I was raised in Hawaii the tropical climate, and Arizona the desert.....can you blame me for disliking the snow and freezing temperatures? I try to tell myself every year since 2003, I will make the best of it, but it always turned out to be my most depressing 6 months....maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the roads here were safer. We literally drive on ice here, they do not salt the roads like other snowy states do. They plow the roads, but that only does the basic minimum of safety. It stresses me out. Its not only the roads. I just don't like all the clothing layers, I am a tank top, shorts, flip flops girl, not the heavy down bubble jacket, thick pants, thank goodness uggs are cute :) and gloves, scarves, beanies, its way too much for me. I suck it up, i turn bitchy when it snows, and oh well, Matt knew what he was getting into hehehe. Halloween is to be able to show off your costume, and trick or treating without being frozen, and wearing heavy jackets over your costume, whats the fun in that? but the kids will do anything for candy i suppose haha.
I really do get depressed, that is why this year my hubby promised me, and is really going to make it happen, that we will take a vacation in February, which is the month that the weather is in the negative digits....i am not going to say where yet, until I click on the "purchase my flight tickets" button....so for now please be patient. We get 5 Permanent Fund Dividends this year! which totals to $6400! that is our vacation $$$!! I am super excited!! The only thing i like about this living in this awful state, is the dividend we get each year. and always around my birthday! So i kind of think of it as, Thank you alaska for the huge birthday present! thats an incentive to keep us here. hahaha.
I have come to terms that this is where the work for Matt is. I have my moments....doesn't everyone? He is my life companion, and I did vow for better or worse....so i have to keep it up. I do know i won't be here forever, but fate, or whatever controls our destiny, seems like an eternity! lol. hurry up and get my out of Alaska and to a place where there's no SNOW! :) (wishful thinking) I try to make the best of the situation. I have my days or weeks, where I might need to take extra anti-depressants, but I have had a rough childhood, then heart surgery, losing our beagle piper, then being pregnant, giving birth, having a baby, being a first time mommy, then being pregnant with Twins was not easy, then giving birth to twins, dealing with a new transitions, more financial responsibilities....its stressful, plus having twins gives you automatic post partum depression, there's no way out of that one...unless you are lucky and have lots of family members who can help you out, which is not in my case. No family around, our friends had their own lives, its like there just wasn't a break of breathing for me. The only breathing part was meeting Matt, and my wedding day, honeymoon...Heart Surgery i know was Karma kicking my ass all the way! I have made many mistakes, poor choices, even hurting my family during my dark era...so thank you karma for taking care of it at once! appreciate it, and continuing to kick my butt being here during the winter lol.
I will do my best to make the best of this winter. I am the only one who can make it good, and not be so depressed about it. You never know this could be our last winter here in alaska....atleast thats what I wish for hehe.
xoxo
nalia
No comments:
Post a Comment