I can make it through the Rain

Wow, i haven't blogged in a long time! but for those on my facebook, you know what I have been up to since November 2010.

The past 10 days have been challenging. I thank god everyday for keeping me and matt healthy, and giving me 3 healthy, happy babies! but recently, my extended family have been going through a difficult time. My uncle Kyle, whom i am close with, was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, Its cancer cells in his blood, and his bone marrow. it caught me completely unexpected, and i was not prepared for this. it felt like someone just hit me in the gut. I was having anxiety attacks because living so far away, and not being there with him, is hard. Also I am not the best at waiting for test results, i am very impatient. I just saw him the end of february in Hawaii, and he was perfectly fine. Now, he's going through his first chemo treatments, and i am happy to report he's not feeling the common nausea from it, and he's able to eat without feeling sick. I am so happy to hear that. I just want him to get back to playing Words with friends with Me, heehee. :)

Another bad news, my cousin chris and his wife Ashley are expecting twin girls. Baby B's heart vein, did not develop properly, where its not opening enough, and the cardio surgeon said it looks like she's going through heart failure, and they don't think she will make it to 36 weeks. This week they are only 25 weeks gestational age, and if baby B doesn't make it, then they would need to deliver Baby A. Any baby born before 30 weeks has a 30-40% chance survival rate. That was a blow to me too! i know they are not my girls, but I can't help but feel like they are my own, and I just broke down. they are babies!, i just don't understand.

Yesterday, Kaleb and Brody had their 18 month check up, and dr heard wheezing, and heard kaleb's deep cough, and he said its most likely Asthma. Which doesn't surprise me because there's a lot of family history who have BAD Asthma. plus, the dr. said it doesn't help that the boys were born early, which compromises lung development, and they are more sensitive to get colds, bronchitis, and asthma. So far the Inhaler has been helping them. I have noticed right when Kaleb starts coughing after running, and he inhales the Albuterol, he's breathing easier. so i know its helping. Today when i gave their 1st inhalation, I just started crying. I think because its all overwhelming, and i am over emotional right now, due to hormone fluctuation lol. but one of the albuterol side effects, is Restlessness....not a good combo with Toddlers who need to take their nap! lol!

it doesn't help when you try talking to someone about it, and they don't show any care in the world about your problems, but you're supposed to care about their issues. Also, I have to thank my friends Ashley Wicke and Bri Nejad for showing concern for me, and being there for me! I really appreciate it! thanks ladies! Its good to know i have girlfriends who care about what i am going through.

I need to just BREATHE and make it through the rain. Eventually, the Rain will stop, and a pretty Rainbow will appear. i am never going to give up Hope. I am always hoping for a miracle for my uncle kyle, and my cousins twin girls! you should never give up hope, no matter the obstacles we are presented with.